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IslamQA: A Muslim girl who dislikes housework and wishes to take care of herself until marriage instead

Assalamu Alaikum, brother! I'm unmarried and belongs to a middle class family where I can't afford servants so we have to do all of our chores by ourselves. I usually get very angry when my mother asks me to do any work like cleaning the dishes or washing clothes. Because doing household harms your skin and rots the beauty. But also my mother is old and ill so she has to do most of the work by herself then. Am I doing wrong? Can't I take care of myself until I get married?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Some of the healthiest-looking and most beautiful girls I’ve seen are those that come from the mountainous area where I come from (the Zagros mountains). These girls do all the housework and work in fields and take care of chickens and sheep on their farms. Your skin can repair itself and be as good as new as long as you do not do anything too damaging (and you can always wear latex gloves when washing dishes, etc.). Doing housework is also a very good form of exercise. You can do it while having headphones on to listen to lectures of audiobooks on your phone.

Personally as a man I do not find the attitude of a girl not liking housework to be attractive at all. I like girls (and of course boys too) to feel as parts of the family who work together to maintain their home, as if they are all working together on a team project. And if you find it boring, you can always do it as an act of charity. God will reward you for it, it’s the same as volunteering at a charity organization.

I also don’t think avoiding housework is a way of taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself means getting enough healthy exercise, otherwise you can develop conditions like insulin resistance from sitting around too much. So doing housework may actually be a great way of taking care of yourself.

I also can’t imagine a good man blaming a girl’s appearance because she did a lot of housework. I would find it completely adorable to know that she had an important role in her family as someone who took care of her family’s home.

And God knows best.
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