The answers on are based on the research of Ikram Hawramani in the Quran, hadith, scholarly works and respected fatwa sources. You can view Ikram Hawramani's credentials on the about page. Please note that we do not issue fatwas, we only compile the opinions of respected scholars (even when a fatwa is not explicitly cited) to make their opinions accessible to English-speaking Muslims. If an answer does not cite fatwas, please feel free to leave a comment asking for a fatwa citation and we will update the answer as soon as possible to include fatwas.

IslamQA: Avoiding self-pity as a Muslim

Salam! Do you have advice on how to not pity oneself. I didn’t realize how much I actually do this and how it goes on to affect the way I interpret my daily life and past.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

I believe the cure is to have a very firm belief in the fact that God is in charge of the universe, that nothing happens to us without His allowing it, and that He is just, kind and merciful and always gives us what we need for our growth and maturation. However merely recognizing these things intellectually is not enough. One also needs to keep the recognition alive in the heart, otherwise self-pity (and all kinds of other negative character traits) always creep back regardless of how wise and saintly we are at the moment. We need to do constant, daily work to maintain our balance, and the best way to do that is to read the Quran daily.

And God knows best.
Asking questions is temporarily unavailable. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Learn Quranic Arabic with my book!
Available in both paperback and Kindle formats.
Commenting rules: Politeness is the only rule. We respect your right to disagree with anything we say. But comments with profanity and insults will be deleted.
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments