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IslamQA: Is it written for us which person we will marry?

Alslam alikum I have some confusions about the love stuff in alslam,we should believe that what ever is written for you will come at the right time,me as a Muslim girl I cannot approach the guy I like ,and also I don’t want Haram relationship so what should I do?be realistic or duaa , P.S I never talked to this guy but I know a lot about him I will be happy to hear your personal opnion Thank u

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

What is written for you can change, this is something that many Muslims don’t realize. You and God make your fate together, it’s like a team project. You choose, and based on that, God decides what happens next, and based on how you respond, He decides what happens next, and so on. For those who are pious, God arranges their circumstances in such a way that they have meaningful and joyful lives despite their hardships. But if these same people become impious and start sinning, they will run into all kinds of aimlessness and useless suffering, since God will stop arranging their circumstances favorably for them.

Regarding relationships, Islam doesn’t forbid women from approaching men. In the right circumstances you can ask a man to ask your family for your hand in marriage. Apart from that you can rely on your relatives, friends, and halaqa sisters to find you a match. Most social circles have women who love matchmaking. And if that doesn’t work, you can use sites like to find Muslim men. As long as your family is involved there is nothing bad or haram about using such sites.

Best wishes.

Alslam alikum I read what you answered the girl about love and Islam and destiny,I got confused too😂 Did you mean that if I don’t work for it or stressed out and started looking for a guy or someone to set me up with I won’t necessarily get married 😱?i always thought that what meant for you will come to you

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

It’s like a team project, like I said in the previous answer. You and God manage your destiny together. You can leave it to Him and He will place the right things in your path. But you can also help matters along when the right opportunity is there. God helps you help yourself. If you are in a city where you never run into other Muslim men, then using a website like may be the way God wants you to find the right man.

And God knows best.
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