Hello, possible convert here. I have one issue and it's this. I'm a bisexual teenage girl, I've enjoyed a relationship with another girl and I don't want to suppress that part of me or rule out the possibility of marrying a girl. I've read some of your articles on LGBT+ stuff in Islam and that's one of the only things I find to be an obstacle in this. I don't want to suppress that side or be ashamed of it, so I'm not quite sure what to do.
The point of religion is to find out how to be an ideal servant of God. If God exists and if He does not approve of homosexual relationships then there is no recourse. There is no higher power that can make it OK. So it is a question of whether you prefer God’s wishes to your own or not. I do not doubt that homosexual relationships can be highly satisfying and meaningful, and I do not doubt that for some people homosexual relationships can be far more satisfying than heterosexual ones. But the purpose of this life is not the attaining of personal satisfaction. The purpose of this life, as the Quran tells us, is for us to worship God:
I did not create the jinn and the humans except to worship Me. (The Quran, verse 51:56)
This life is not meant to be Paradise. It is meant to be a place where we suppress many of our deepest desires for the sake of God, expecting His reward in the afterlife. Those who prefer Paradise to their desires are rewarded, while those who prefer their desires to Paradise are punished.
As for him who was defiant.
And preferred the life of this world.
Then Hell is the shelter.
But as for him who feared the Standing of his Lord, and restrained the self from desires.
Then Paradise is the shelter. (The Quran, verses 79:37-41)
We could wish to be in more benign world where we could follow our desires and still get rewarded. But whether we like it or not, we are stuck in a terrible game where the stakes are infinitely high; depending on our performance in this life, we will either get infinite rewards or infinite punishment. There is no way to escape this game and withdraw from it. We have to accept it as it is and try to attain success in it whether we like it or not.
So when it comes to someone who likes Islam but strongly prefers homosexual relationships, they will have to make a choice between the two; either preferring the satisfaction of this life or the next.
How come? If she loves God with all her heart, and really wants to convert to Islam, then she should. All of us commit sins, and just because she does something that may be a sin means she can’t be Muslim? That makes zero sense. I have seen Muslims who have committed sins, and they are still Muslim and pray every day. I personally believe she can be Muslim and gay. We have to welcome people to Islam, not bring them away. Leave the judging to Allah. A man can drink while he is Muslim and we say let Allah judge him, so why can’t we do the same for her?